Good citizens of Poland, run for the hills: Big Stig is coming!

He’s nine metres tall, made of fibreglass and, according to the instruction manual, should only be hand-washed in warm soapy water. We don’t know where he came from, or what his mission upon this mortal coil may be. Frankly we’re worried to ask.

All we know is that he is Big Stig, and that he today departed the hallowed Top Gear test track on the back on a flatbed, bound for the Polish capital Warsaw, via Amsterdam, Berlin and Poznan. If you’re anywhere near those cities over the next few days, keep an eye out. You’re unlikely to miss him.

What’s all this in aid of, you ask? A fair question. It’s all about a new global channel called BBC Brit, which launches in Poland on February 1 and will be the new home of Top Gear in many countries around the world.

More, we hope, shall become clear in the coming days. For now, fair burghers of northern Europe, we ask you not to panic. Big Stig means no harm. If you spot him, simply stay calm, avoid eye contact, back quietly away and, whatever you do, don’t feed him any Wotsits. We don’t need another electrical substation trashed…

It's not even a month old yet, but we're already calling 2015 as ‘year of the oddly named SUV'. January alone has yielded the Jaguar F-Pace, Bentley Bentayga, and now this, the Renault Kadjar.

We say ‘this’, but like its posh Brit equivalents, Renault’s C-segment crossover hasn’t actually shown its face yet.

So what does Kadjar mean? It’s the shoving together of two smaller ‘words’. Kad “is inspired by ‘quad’ – representing a go-anywhere four-wheeled vehicle”, says Renault, while jar “recalls the French words ‘agile’ and ‘jaillir’ representing agility and suddenly emerging from somewhere”.

“The sound and spelling of the name have an exotic feel which suggests adventure and discovering new horizons”, Renault goes on to explain, while the letter K “is indicative of the model’s robustness”. That Kadjar doesn’t sound dissimilar to little brother Captur is no doubt helpful, too.

Let’s hope Renault’s put as much effort into making the car competitive with the Nissan Qashqai(remember when that was a seriously odd name?) and Skoda Yeti (that too…).

Renault is promising an active social media campaign in the lead up to February 2 – one week today – when the Kadjar shows its face completely, prior to heading up Renault's stand at the Geneva motor show in March.

Given how old the Megane is, it’s unlikely to be much related to that, instead heralding a new styling direction. Renault’s most recent crossover concept is the Kwid, above. While it’s titchy in size – and quite barmy in some its features – there’s a chance some of its elements may transfer to a larger car.

Engines are likely tobe similar to those in the Qashqai, Renault being friends with Nissan, don’t forget. So the choice of a 1.2-litre turbo petrol or 1.5-litre turbodiesel, with optional four-wheel drive on higher spec models seems a good guess. Though much more should become apparent next week.

What do you reckon to ‘Kadjar’, then? Too quirky? Or is oddness infinitely preferable to an unimaginative letter and number configuration?

Like hair extensions, brand extensions make us wince. We like authenticity. But no matter how deeply ingrained a brand’s identity, that identity still belongs to a company, not a church, and a company’s first priority is not adhering to a belief system, it’s making money. Given that, the allure of selling out is easy to see. (Hint: It’s the “selling” part.)

Whether or not Jeep’s new Fiat-based Renegade is a sellout, it will likely sell. The Wrangler and the Grand Cherokee, Jeep’s purest-blood offspring, each sold around 175,000 units last year. The Patriot and the Compass, Jeep’s Dodge Caliber–based rental-fleet bastards, combined for about 150,000. The Renegade’s big brother Cherokee didn’t even exist two years ago, but it sold as well in 2014 as Jeep’s decades-old core products. Few industry executives would veto any decision that is likely to increase their sales by 25 percent so quickly.

THE NEW NORMAL: NO NORMAL

The Renegade certainly doesn’t look like a sellout, although it does look weird. Then again, its segment includes so many outlandish shapes—Kia Soul, Nissan Juke, Mini Countryman—that it’s not so much a class of vehicles as it is a clown college. And it’s about to get weirder with the Chevy Trax, Honda HR-V, Mazda CX-3, and the Renegade’s sibling rival, the shapely Fiat 500X. Odd it may be, but the Renegade doesn’t look bad, and it certainly isn’t as cheap as the Patriot or as dorky as the Compass. It’s cheekily, confidently butch without being overdone, its upright stance, trademark grille, and taillights that protrude from the bodywork immediately identifying it as a relative of the Wrangler.